By Beth Jantz, Vice President of GrantsPLUS
 
In the nonprofit sector, we have a reputation for being nice. Most of the time, that’s a good thing. But sometimes, nonprofit culture’s “niceness” can actually create a dynamic of passive aggression.
 
In our consulting work, we often encounter teams where everyone in the room can see the problem, but no one is comfortable saying it out loud. Instead of addressing the issue, people save their grousing for behind closed doors. That, in turn, can lead to division, alienation, and disengagement.
 
Conflict is a natural and healthy part of any organization. Instead of turning away from conflict, we should lean into it. Which would you rather trade: one hour of discomfort or 40 hours a week of resentment and unhappiness at work? Approach disagreement with intentionality and an open mind.
 
Here are some tips when preparing for a difficult conversation:

1. Acknowledge, accept, and emotionally prepare for the fact that it will be uncomfortable. No one ever died from discomfort!
2. Assume the other person has good intentions. Try to “clean your slate” – let go of built-up anger or frustration you are carrying and try to focus on the facts of the problem at hand.
3. Plan what you are going to say. It might help to have notes.
4. Really, truly, listen. Come with an open mind.
5. Accept that you may not resolve the issue in one conversation. It’s okay to plan a follow up conversation for another time.

 
“I believe one of the most courageous things to say in an uncomfortable conversation is, 'Tell me more.' Exactly when we want to turn away and change the topic…we also have the opportunity to ask what else we need to know to fully understand the other person’s perspective.” - Brene Brown
 
Open, honest, and healthy disagreements can transform your organization:

• Good ideas can be refined into great ideas.
• Mediocre grant applications can be edited into winning grant proposals.
• Flagging, underperforming programs can be reworked into cutting edge social innovations.
• Struggling employees can be coached into strong performance.
• Dysfunctional teams can even change their cultures!

 
At LBH, we don’t shy away from difficult conversations. If you need some help, connect with us: (314) 716-2496 or LetsBuildHope@lbh-stl.com.
 
#LBH #LetsBuildHope #DifficultConversations #CultureOfNiceness #CleanSlate #NoOneDiesOfDiscomfort #Listen #OpenMind #AssumeGoodIntentions #GlimmersOfHope #Blog

By Yvette LeGear Hartsfield, MA, CFRE, CAP, Vice President of Campaigns
 
How do we come back from criticisms that are less than complimentary? As professionals in a field that builds communities, shelters animals, cares for children and so much more, we partner with many different personalities. Our work is noble and most of us do it for the intrinsic gratification of knowing we are changing the world (clip on superhero cape).
 
Our donors also have goals and dreams to affect change. Capital campaigns are wonderful opportunities to share a big vision of daring growth with our donors who are most dear to us. We present them opportunities to demonstrate their philanthropy through a financial gift that can be considered a part of their legacy.
 
But, what happens when your favorite donor comes back to you with feedback that you missed the mark with your gift proposal? It happens, but it is not the end of the relationship.
After we have researched our donor prospect’s giving history in the community, reviewed their giving with our organization, assessed their potential financial ability, and engaged them in conversation about their interests — we carefully craft a gift proposal that we believe will motivate them to invest in our organization’s future.
 
And, yet, we can perform every action correctly and still not receive the enthusiastic response we were hoping to receive. Now is the time to step back and reassess.
 
The hallmark of every interaction is to LISTEN. As fundraisers, we know we must listen 80% of the time. Listen to the feedback from the perspective of the donor. Use this as the opportunity it is — an opportunity to know your donor better.
 
TAKE NOTE of the concerns, letting the donor know you will come back to them with additional information…and offer them a timeframe wherein you will respond.
 
DO YOUR HOMEWORK. If you need to gather more detailed information, do so. If you learned the donor has other interests in your campaign, craft a new proposal. If the donor tells you they don’t fund capital, explore their interest in program expansion or endowment building.
 
And, finally, CLOSE THE LOOP. Once the donor has expressed their concerns, be timely in getting back to them. The donor cared enough for your organization to take a difficult step — let you know how you can do better. The relationship will be strengthened through the process. No great relationship is a walk down the primrose path. You stumbled, the donor caught you, and now you have a relationship that is further solidified by open and honest communication.
You got this! I am glad this happened, and you had a chance to practice good relationship building.
 
Wondering how to deal with tough, difficult, or awkward donor feedback? Let’s talk! Contact us at (314) 716-2496 or LetsBuildHope@lbh-stl.com.
 
#LBH #LetsBuildHope #CapitalCampaigns #GentleHonesty #Feedback #Listen #DonorRelationships #GlimmersOfHope #Blog